Frissítve: 2019. máj 2.
For a many years when ever it came to any sort of exam I would get very anxious. I love learning, I read a lot when I have the time, love to be absorbed in a subject that I am excited about, enjoy the feeling of new things opening my mind, things I have been thinking about making sense.
Something getting in the way
Reading for my own enjoyment is a joy, a book on Victor Schauberger – “Hidden Nature” I have been reading recently has been trickling into my deeper mind very nicely thank you very much, wonderful learnings. But I recently I had to sit and read up for a couple of exams I’d wanted to take and I noticed something getting in the way, a lack of focus, an inability to absorb, a confusing way of taking notes. I realized that it had always been a problem. But as I have said to many a client
“It can’t always have been, that feeling started somewhere”
Curl up and study
We’d decided that we would weigh anchor in Teignmouth Devon this winter. Instead of going to the Alps to work we would plan the HOW retreats. I told myself apart from the Hypnotherapy in Exeter, Healing Yoga Massage and Hypnotherapy in Teignmouth we would get the website finished, that we would read and study, curl up here during the English wintertime, we’d make the time, we’d do it.
I had ‘Indian Head Massage’ and ‘Paediatric Hypnotherapy exams I’d wanted to take, I passed both of them, but boy what a stress, my chest ached my heart raced and my jaw was tense for weeks. I wondered what on earth was going on, I knew the subjects intimately, so why?
They want you to pass
As I studied and sat the exams I analyzed my feelings. A thought emerged “that the exams weren’t designed to trip me up” I came to understand that they wanted me to pass, so where did the idea come that they were trying to trick me, setting me up to fail.
A sense of dread
I thought back to exams or tests that I’ve sat over the years. My Hypnotherapy Training Institute exams, how I got through that I don’t know, my Spiritual Healing Exam too subjects dear to my heart. My driving test I passed first time in the US, took me 4 attempts in the UK when I returned. Playing guitar and gigging similar yet I am an effortless performer and beautiful song writer. My Drama school exam, which I at first failed, second time round got Honours. I remember them all with a sense of dread attached to them.
I have over the years watched with quiet awe my sisters kids ability to sit and study, my friends Ian & Frances kids also seem to glide through study and exams, Ian is a school teacher and obviously passed that onto them. Orsi too, my Girlfriend who’s mum was also a school teacher breezes through any prep and exams. I thought back to my time traveling throughout the US and India for years I practiced recall daily writing volumes daily in great detail, surely it was the same process. So why were exams such a stress for me.
As I made my notes for the Paediatric exam I watched the course films, my concentration locked on screen, it meant such a lot that I pass that exam. I was writing energetically not wanting to miss a thing, when my mums voice came to mind saying ‘slow down’ (a memory of her noticing how I fast I wrote as a child) I heard it and slowed down but my mind was still tight and anxious
Knowing the subject
At the end of the Peadiatric course I’d made good notes but nothing seemed to have gone in. So I started the whole thing again making one or two alterations but a day or so later I realized again little more had gone in, not enough to pass I felt, yet I knew the subject very well.
So; I started again this time put the note pad to the side sat back and enjoyed the course that time it was different, I cannot say for sure whether it was because it was the third time through and I’d made all the notes or whether it was simply that I was enjoying the course but I was focusing differently, I had relaxed.
I went for a walk along the sea front at one point during this period and had a flash back to a time a long time ago as a little boy, as clear as I am looking at this screen writing. I was stood in the School hall, Stannah Primary School in Thornton where I’d gone as a little boy. I will have been about 10 years old. We’d sat our 11+ exam and all the children were gathered in the hall to receive the results and to be told which schools we were going to go on to.
Nobody had explained that it would change our lives or what it was or, I just hadn’t realized. I can’t really remember sitting the exam, only very vaguely. They were reading out our names, I clearly saw where I was stood at the back of the hall to the right facing the headmaster who was stood on the stairs at the other end addressing the hall. I was stood with my friend Jeremy him to my right, I remember him being a little over weight rounded boy, he’d passed, the headmaster said
“Jeremy (I forget his last name); Bains Grammar School….. Michael Crudge; Milfield secondary”
I remembered the feeling that Jeremy and I would never see each other again, I think we said we’d ‘call round’ but the sharp shock of him going to a better school and the separation came crashing in and just what an exam meant. I had failed, not got good enough marks to go to grammar school, the consequences were separation and a feeling of not being good enough.
Hypnotherapy in Exeter and the work we do
It surprised me that it had come back so vividly, but of course that is exactly the work we are doing with HOW and Serenity and Hypnotherapy in Exeter, Teignmouth. Since then of course I have enjoyed my life very much and fully intend to enjoy the rest I would like to study more and perhaps sit more exams, get more qualifications, but not with that level of stress and there is another point, I can honestly say that there have been times where I have subtly avoided situations where I will be examined, my loss when I look back over the years.
The unconscious imprint, the spell, is “if you fail this exam you will face severe consequences, there will be sadness. You are not very bright and will never achieve” That’s quite a load to carry and one I am not prepared to carry around anymore. But who would have known that it was there all this time and perhaps I would never have realized without all the Hypnotherapy work I have done. Set up to fail, how awful.
Never taught how to study
I was just a little boy, nobody had explained exams to me, nobody, that I can remember anyway ever showed me how to study, nobody ever showed me that it can be such a joy and a liberation, nobody ever showed me how to find a quiet place to allow myself to relax. Maybe they did but it hadn’t registered, but it has now and that’s the point.
Never too late
It is never too late and these old beliefs can be changed with just the realization. It's what we do here, in this case I have information now and it’s up to me what I do with it. I’ll let you know the next exam I take and how it went I suspect it will be a lot lighter and I suspect I will pass what ever I put my mind too, just as I have put my mind to Hypnotherapy in Exeter in Teignmouth, in London up and down the UK
Relaxation is Strength
Changing the feeling releases the tension, relaxation is strength, making time, taking control and allowing the information to flow in, then demonstrate my already powerful abilities of recall. They don’t want you to fail, they want you to pass, its not a trick, of course not, it took all this time to realize where that idea came from, that it was there at all, that was the past, initially it was there to wake me up perhaps, I was a dreamy child with an amazing imagination and a great storyteller by all accounts, I’ll keep the latter ideas but that old idea learned in that school hall, that no longer serves any purpose, that one can go
Watch and listen to the Guided Self Help Hypnosis "preparing for your Exams" Meditation with Mick Crudge Stuart Newman & Hollie Kamel from Entrance